Blog 13 - Family Transitions

Questions: (1.) According to the research presented by Stephanie Coontz, how does divorce affect children, and what factors account for the variation in these effects? (2.) According to Furstenberg and Cherlin, what factors affect short-term and long-term adjustment of children to divorce? (3.) According to Carr, what three factors are the most important influences on spousal bereavement? How does gender shape the experience of spousal loss?

In Stephanie Coontz’s article, Putting Divorce in Perspective, she examines the variety of affects divorce has on children. She points out that people are usually quick to infer that all children of divorced parents turn out worse than those whose parents stay together. Coontz, however, provides information that illustrates that while some children are significantly affected by divorce in a negative manner other children’s well-beings were hardly affected. Some of the factors that were determined to cause the variations in these effects include: number of divorces and/or remarriages, poverty, financial loss, school relocation and prior history of severe martial conflict (101).
In a number of studies conducted it has been concluded that more children of divorced parents have problems. For example, “it is true that children in divorced and remarried families are more likely to drop out of school, exhibit emotional distress, get in trouble with the law and abuse drugs or alcohol than children who grow up with both biological parents” (99). Furthermore, it has also been reported, in a long-term study published by Judith Wallerstein, that almost half the children from divorced families experienced long-term pain, worry and insecurity that adversely affected their love and work relationships. Some of these problems can be attributed to the fact that divorces can interfere with effective parenting and deprive children of parental resources (98).
Coontz emphasizes the fact that while divorces possess the potential to have disastrous consequences for the children involved it is unfair to say that these problems are caused by solely by the divorce; “many of the problems seen in children of divorced parents are caused not by divorce alone but by other frequently coexisting yet analytically separate factors” (101). Divorce usually triggers financial loss, withdrawal of parental attention, and change of residences or schools. “In this sense it is fair to say that divorce causes many childhood problems by creating these other conditions. But it makes more sense to adopt policies to minimize income loss or school and residence changes than to prohibit divorce across the board, for these are no hard and fast links between family structure, parental behaviors, and children’s outcome” (101). Furthermore, a particular study found that “experiences in a one-parent, mother-headed family seemed to have a positive effect for girls” (103). These girls were found to be caring, competent children who were exceptionally popular, self-confident, well-behaved and academically adept. These girls had the most stable peer friendships and solid relations with adults.

Several studies have been conducted to pinpoint what factors affect short-term and long-term adjustment of children to divorce. The majority of the studies show a wide range of responses to divorce; some children do very well while others fare poorly. Some factors, however, have been isolated to improve the affects divorce has on children.
The first two years following a separation have been labeled by psychologists as a ‘crisis period’ for children as well as adults. In effort to aid children in the short-term adjustment to divorce two essential needs must be met. “First, they need additional emotional support as they struggle to adapt to the breakup. Second, they need the structure provided by a reasonably predictable daily routine” (493). Consequences of the crisis period include both external and internal disorders. External disorders are characterized by heightened levels of problem behavior directed outwards, such as aggression, disobedience, and lying. Internal disorders refer to heightened levels of problem behaviors directed inward, such as depression, anxiety or withdrawal (493). There have been other studies conducted that provide evidence indicating that boys might do worse during this two-year period because they typically live with their opposite-sex parent, their mother.
While almost all children are moderately or severely distressed and experience sadness, confusion and anger when their parents separate many parents are eventually able to stabilize their own as well as their children’s lives. Some children, however, suffer long-term harm; but it is hard to determine the exact problems caused by the divorce because more times than not “all of the problems that emerge after the breakup are blamed on the divorce,” (495). Nonetheless, Sara McLanahan and her colleagues have reported that, “persons who reported living as a child in a single-parent family were more likely subsequently to drop out of high school, marry during their teenage years, have a child before marrying, and experience the disruption of their own marriages” (495). Research has been conducted to help identify factors that affect children’s long-term adjustment to divorce. A critical factor in both short-term and long-term adjustment is how effectively the custodial parent, usually the mother, functions as a parent. The way in which mothers cope with the distress has effects on the children’s well-being. “Quite often their distress is rooted in, or at least intensified by, financial problems. Loss of the father’s income can cause a disruptive, downward spiral in which children must adjust to a declining standard of living, a mother who is less psychologically available and is home less often, an apartment in an unfamiliar neighborhood, a different school, and new friends” (496). Low-level conflict between the mother and father in the subsequent years of a divorce is also a crucial factor to determining children’s long-term adjustment to divorce. Although many researchers have noted that the maintenance of a continuing relationship with the non-custodial parent is critical for children’s successful adjustment, recent studies have concluded that there is not enough evidence to determine whether or not retaining a stable and close relationship with the non-custodial parent significantly influences long-term adjustment.

In Deborah Carr’s article, Good Grief: Bouncing Back from a Spouse’s Death in Late Life, the age of the husband and wife, how the spouse died, and what the couple’s life was like prior to the death are the most important factors that influence spousal bereavement.
The age of the husband and wife is an important factor for a number of reasons. First, losing a spouse is simply inevitable for most older married couples. Older grieving spouses have an important coping resource that is seldom available to younger widows and widowers: friends, peers, and siblings who are also adjusting to such a loss (24). The meaning of life and death also differs for older and younger persons; “death may be viewed as the natural conclusion to an elderly spouse’s long and meaningful life, rather than the interruption of a life yet to be lived” (24).
In addition to age, cause of death also influences spousal bereavement. Many older spouses die of chronic illness, or a long-term illness that causes physical pain or disability and often requires intensive care. As a result of advances in medical technology the life-span of ailing adults has increased; while also increasing the burden on spouses to manage complex care and medication regimes. For example, “many caregivers report high levels of strain and depressive symptoms when their spouses are still alive, yet many bounce back shortly after their spouses die” (25). In conclusion, “for many bereaved spouses, the event of the loss is not as painful as the long death watch period, which is often filled with drawn-out suffering” (25).
What the couple’s life was like prior to the death of a spouse also impacts spousal bereavement. Studies have reported that “people with the most close-knit, loving marriages experience the most severe symptoms of sadness and yearning in the first six months after their loss” contrary to couples who experienced problematic marriages (25). In addition, further studies “show that widows and widowers who had the most problematic marriages show better psychological health following their loss than do their married peers who remain in such troubled relationships (25).
Gender also shapes the experience of spousal loss. The traditional division of labor (men: making home repairs, paying bills, managing finances; women: meal preparation, child care, housework) means that widows and widowers face different challenges. After their husbands die, many widowers experience distress and anxiety about money because their husbands were usually the main source of income. Widowers on the other hand, tend to lose their social networks since their wives the family ‘kinkeepers.’